That Cliche About Time and Wounds
by kl999
Summary: It took her six years to rebuild herself, and one second for him to knock it all down again.
1. Chapter 1

Heyy all! This is my first Twilight fic, so I'm actually a little nervous. But here it is! I present it to you 

A little note before you start reading: you will probably _not_like Bella right now. But that's the point. I'm the author and I don't like her in this first chapter either. But the point I'm trying to make is…She's obviously changed from her time in Forks. A lot. Exactly _why_ she's changed, however, will be revealed in later chapters!

Not mine.

Bella took in her surroundings with a pleasant smile. _This _was where she belonged. She glanced around and tried to soak it up. The walls were painted a rich, red color which matched the dim lighting perfectly. Music throbbed from bass speakers hidden behind oddly shaped tables and chairs. All around her, attractive twenty-somethings sipped expensive, alcohol-filled drinks with exotic names and flirted loudly with each other. This was the hippest place in town, and there was nowhere else she'd rather be on a Saturday night.

"Bella, you wanna dance?" her companion asked from her elbow. Bella stopped admiring the general scene and turned to him.

"What do you think, Jake?" she asked rhetorically. A grin slowly tugged the corners of her mouth up.

Jacob dragged her to the small floor where people continued to drink and flirt, but here they managed to make it look like they were dancing. He grabbed her hips and she swung them along with the beat sensuously. Who would have ever thought that Bella Swan, the former self-proclaimed klutz, who hated to dance more than most people hated root canals, who couldn't keep her balance on a flat, dry, surface, would look like this as an adult? She dipped and swayed, not gracefully, per se, but in a way that made men look twice. Her hands busied themselves in her hair, in Jacob's hair. He laughed, the sound of which made her laugh.

Bella came here at least once a week. _La Duni_ was where she blew off steam from a high-stress job. Her natural talent at writing and love for books had led her all the way to New York City, where she quickly gained a reputation as a book critic. Any author who wanted half a chance at getting on the best-seller list _knew _they had to impress Bella. Her opinion was as good as gold in the literary world.

Jacob turned Bella so they were face to face. "Honey," he said huskily as she grinded on him. "Are we going to my place tonight?"

The desire was thick and evident in his voice. His eyes seemed darkened, more rich. An unhappy thought fleetingly crossed her mind, too quickly for her to even process.

"Jake, you _know _how much I want to," Bella purred over the music. "But I've got a big meeting tomorrow for work…" She trailed off with a slight pout to her face.

Disappointment flickered across Jacob's lovely features, but only for a second. "That's fine, honey," he said. He still hadn't managed to get the longing out of his voice, though. "Another night?"

"Another night," Bella concurred. "You know I can't stay away."

They continued to dance together for a while, until Bella grew tired. Jacob went to the bar to get some drinks for the two of them.

Bella thought to wistfully herself. _If I could only see me now, six years ago. _Six years ago, she was back at Forks. Six years ago put Bella as a senior in high school. Her best friend and constant companion was Jacob, as it was now. _So that hasn't changed, at least. _But six years ago, her hobbies consisted of staying on her own two feet, and reading. Six years ago, she would never have been able to imagine this kind of behavior. She remembered with a slight laugh how she tried to flirt with Jacob the first time she met him. She was painfully awkward, but somehow it endeared her to him. _That Bella Swan wouldn't even recognize me._

Of course, whenever she got thinking about old memories, and Forks, a familiar lump rose in her throat. But, as she had grown used to, she pushed it back down forcefully. Almost immediately, her mind switched gears. _I wonder what Jacob got me from the bar. Better be an apple martini. _If she had wanted to analyze it further, she might have thought her brain was trying to protect her.

But in an instant, Jacob returned and her mind was on the present. _Where it should be. _Looking back was dangerous. _He did get me an apple martini. Good._

She and Jacob sat down on a plushy orange sofa. Crossing her legs, they fell into easy conversation. What they had planned on doing this week, what the people in the room were wearing, how drunk she was. Anything was a safe topic of conversation for Jacob. He always made her feel comfortable, happy enough to smile until her cheeks hurt.

Maybe that was how they found themselves together now, still, after they had been through so much. Jacob and Bella still had the closest of relationships. They worked together, they spent leisure time together (and sometimes they slept together).

But it was strictly a friends-with-occasional-benefits sort of deal. At least it was to Bella. She would never have romantic feelings for Jacob. She tried it out, briefly, in high school. _But the shoe just didn't fit,_ Bella thought. The first time they slept together, they were both _incredibly_ drunk and needy. It wasn't long after they moved to New York together. Bella was feeling alone and very far from home. She could tell that Jacob was feeling the same way, though nothing was said on the subject to each other. She was trying to be strong, partially for herself and partially for him. She couldn't just _break down_ after she had made it so far.

So Bella and Jacob had gone out that night, and proceeded to get trashed. Bella went back to his apartment, and that night, they had clung to each other for dear life. Ever since then, it was sporadic. One night she was feeling particularly lonely, she invited him into her bed. Another night, she was stressed out from an article she had to write. They had barely made it home to his place. Having sex with Jacob was a comfort, a boost to her self-esteem, a relaxer. But it was never love.

Bella laughed. _Love. _What a strange word.

"Hey, Jake, remember when I was in love?" While Bella was lost in her thoughts, she had downed the apple martini. And the other one that Jacob had brought her. Apparently the alcohol had loosened her lips.

An irritated look crossed Jacob's face. "Aw, yeah, with-"

"Wasn't I a total idiot back then?" Bella cut him off. "What was I like?"

"You were so…" his face twisted, trying to find the right words. "Not like you are now. Like, you would put _him _before yourself. Always thinking of him, trying to make him happy, worrying about him." Jacob flashed a toothy smile. "I like you better this way. You're independent, tough. Sexy."

Bella smiled, the trademark blush of her younger days thankfully not present. "Thanks, Jake," she said, blowing him a kiss.

Jacob mimed catching it. The conversation lapsed into a comfortable silence. After a few moments, he turned back to Bella.

"I'm getting tired. You wanna head home?"

The music had been slowly lulling Bella to sleep. She nodded drowsily. He helped her up, and together they went outside to hail a cab. The ground was damp from a light drizzle that had occurred earlier in the night. The smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol assaulted Bella's senses once they were outside, but that didn't surprise her.

What did surprise her, though, was the woman with her back turned to her a few feet down the sidewalk. She was alone, as if she was waiting for someone. A completely unremarkable sight, except for her hair.

Her hair. It was short, brown, and spiked like a pixie in all directions. Bella's heart stopped. Just then, a cab pulled up. Jacob pulled her inside. Bella turned around, straining to look at this mysterious stranger, but she didn't turn around the cab pulled away. _It must be all this talk about the past_, Bella thought, trying to make her thoughts casual. _That's what it has to be. Lots of people do their hair like that, anyways._

But it wasn't just her hair. It was her size, her clothes, and the way she held herself that had made Bella's whole body go into overdrive.

Suddenly, Bella thought of something that both depressed her and relieved her. _If it had really been Alice, she would have seen me. And she would have been looking for me, knowing I was there._

It hadn't been Alice, Bella decided. There was simply no way. She left them behind when she left Forks behind, six years ago.

Okay, so one last thing. I liked Bella's character in the books, my only problem was her lack of a spine. She let Edward completely control her life. Ladies, we _all_ know it shouldn't be like that in a relationship. Seriously, the woman should be the one in charge! Haha, well, enough of my crazy relationship philosophies- I'm kind of crazy when it comes to that (ask my poor boyfriend). If most of the changes in the chapter are negative, the one good thing that I'm going to have Bella keep is her spine, which she seems to have grown in the six years she spent away from Forks. I promise, if a certain _someone _makes a return, he won't be getting off easy ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Once again, Bella's a bit different. Chapter two, I hope you enjoy!**

**Still not mine. **

Bella's strange day did nothing to help her sleep that night. She was plagued by restless dreams, filled with old faces she had buried deep in her unconscious. Bella awoke several times that night, breathing heavily, only to realize that it had been a dream.

_So much for that meeting,_ she sighed as she fretted over the large bags that were beginning to form under her eyes. Bella applied a generous layer of concealer, hoping to diminish the effect. It didn't work.

Agitated, but trying to calm her nerves down, she picked out a silky blouse with a rich blue hue. Leaving the top two buttons undone, she tucked it into a long pencil skirt. If her face couldn't look good, at least the rest of her would. Her mood started to improve as she located a pair of simple black pumps and slipped them on. Tousling her hair, she gave a backward glance into the mirror. _Not too bad, Miss Swan._

Bella always gave better presentations when she knew she looked good. A silly thing to gain confidence over, maybe, but nonetheless it helped. Who knew that the right outfit was the key to her being able to give a speech to hundreds of people in a crowded lecture hall? In high school, she would never have imagined herself being able to do that without getting physically sick. Sure, she didn't like it any more than she had back then, but at least she had the ability now.

Bella mentally snapped at herself. She had to stop reminiscing about the past. Thinking back to her recent sleepless night, she knew just what those memories did to her. _Nothing good, and you know it._ But it was so hard to stop when she got started.

She got a taxi to work, and went over her notes mentally on the way there. The speech wasn't going to be hard; she was just talking to a bunch of editors on how to write a good column. It was mainly a simple list of "dos" and "don'ts" that all fledgling editors should be aware of.

_First, never make a statement without evidence to back it up. Yes, you're writing your opinion, but you have to qualify why you feel the way you do about something. Why was the movie terrible? What made the restaurant service good? Why-_

"We're here, miss," the cab driver said, interrupting her mental preparations. "Seven-fifty, please,"

Bella handed him a ten. "Keep the rest," she said hurriedly. She needed to get inside quickly so she could go over the other points she wanted to make.

Even though she sometimes had nights like last night (and some that were much, much worse), Bella always pulled it together for work. Yes, she was talented, but nobody got anywhere on talent alone. She had known from an early age that hard work was the way people got to the top of their respective career ladders. _Work hard, play hard_ was a motto Bella had no problem living by. She led a fast life; she kept company with those who could keep up.

That was one way part of her high-school persona had stayed with her through the years. She had fun, which was somewhat of an understatement, but she never went to a single meeting or speech unprepared. Deep down, she was the same old bookworm. _Very deep down._

Bella glanced around, to observe her surroundings. She was giving a speech in a hotel, so there would be no problem of space. Bella's speeches were unusually crowded. She liked to think it was because of her easy way of speaking to people, her good preparation that led to good, no-nonsense speeches. Not because of more shallow reasons.

If such things could still stun Bella, she would have been taken aback at how beautiful the hotel was. The floor was cool, marbled granite. Heavy green fabric hung from the ceilings in large draped patterns. She heard a faint rushing sound, and saw that the back wall of the hotel had a miniature waterfall. Wealthy men and women dragged designer suitcases behind them. People were speaking in a flurry of hushed voices, and Bella could pick up English, French, and a language she couldn't place.

Just past the reception area was a large room with high ceilings and many comfortable looking couches. Several business people lounged on these couches, no doubt waiting for her. Some colleagues that she knew by acquaintance only paused to greet her in the lobby. She exchanged courtesies with them but her mind was still going over her notes. Bella walked quickly towards the lecture hall door, but connected with something solid before she got there.

"Oh!" she cried as her papers spilled all over the floor. She had been so distracted that she ran straight into a man with his back turned to her. _That is __**so **__embarrassing_, she thought, with a little irritation directed towards herself.

The man turned around. Bella started to apologize profusely. "I'm so sorry," she said quickly, adding the same charming smile that had gotten her out of trouble so many times before. Strangely, a wave of calm washed over her agitated state of mind.

She looked up, into the stranger's face (who had yet to say anything). The blond curls, the statuesque stance, the strange expression of surprise in his deep, amber-colored eyes. She recognized, and she knew. Before he could say anything, a wave of black swept over Bella's eyes. His arms reaching for her were the last things she knew before she descended into the darkness.

………

Bella awoke quickly, just a few moments later. She knew because she was still in Jasper's arms. She started to panic, and struggled against him to stand up. He helped her obligingly. Bella could faintly detect the calm that pervaded her (and probably everyone else in the room's) senses. She glanced around quickly. To her surprise, no one was looking at them.

Bella opened her mouth to try to speak, but couldn't think of anything to say. Jasper looked at her with empathy.

"Bella," he said, slowly, musically. She hadn't heard a voice this beautiful in such a long time. _Six years_, her mind murmured to herself. _It's been six years since I've heard a voice like that._

"Jasper," she forced her mouth to speak, finally. Her voice sounded harsh, grating, raspy even, next to his. "What- why?"

"We just moved here," he said simply.

"We?" Bella asked, seemingly only able to formulate one- or two-word sentences.

Jasper sighed, but Bella knew it was only out of habit. "Carlisle, Alice, all of us," he said gently.

For one tiny second, Bella's heart was ecstatic. It threatened to soar out of her chest. She knew whom "all of us" entailed.

But in the proceeding seconds, she remembered everything. Her last year in Forks, and all the years and miles she had struggled to put between herself and the Cullens since then. Going to college in New York, and subsequently living here, had been part of that decision. She could think of no place farther (and more opposite) than from small-town, rainy, dreary, green, forested Forks.

Bella bent down to retrieve her scattered papers, and Jasper mimicked her, gathering them more quickly than she could.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"Would you like to come up to our room? No one's there, I promise, and you don't look so good. You could rest…"

"No," Bella snapped, suddenly angry. _How could he be so nice to her, after what that family had done? Hypocrite._ "No, I have a speech to give."

Jasper sensed her anger, and seemed confused by it. "Bella, I need- someone needs to explain…"

"I'm going to be late," she said, with clipped tones. "Excuse me." She could feel Jasper desperately trying to calm her down, trying to make her stay and listen to him. "Stop," she said coldly, and Jasper knew exactly what she was talking about. The calm feeling left her immediately.

Bella gathered her things together, gave him a brief nod, and Jasper stepped to the side graciously. "Bye, Bella," he said. Her hands trembled but she didn't look back.

Gripping her things tightly, she went to the stage. Her hands where shaking, stretched white over her knuckles. It took a Herculean effort for her to set her papers down. They were crumpled up from her grabbing them so strongly.

People were filing into the room, chattering excitedly. Bella felt like she was looking at them through a telescope. Normally, she might have walked around the room, mingling and visiting everyone, trying to warm them up to her before her speech. But today, she couldn't think, she could barely breathe. A few people approached her, but her face was pulled in a way that told everyone to stay a few yards back. Bella went to the side, grabbed a cup of water from the table, and gulped it down greedily. She walked slowly, deliberately, up to the stage, taking deep breaths. After a few minutes, she seemed calm again. The back of her mind questioned _why_ she felt so calm, but she pushed the thought away angrily.

Walking up the steps, she got on stage and smiled at her expectant audience. "Hello," she said. "I'm Bella Swan. You might know me from my column…"

**So I just read over that, and I realize it might look a little strange. I'm not shipping Bella/Jasper, just trying to explain that they had a close brother/sister relationship in the past. I've always liked Jasper, so I want him to be a part of my story.**

**Thanks for reading. Chapter three will hopefully be up soon!**


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